Talk Warning! Sorry:) (Truth about his mission)

The view from our Apartment

I’ve decided to write a pretty “real” weekly this week because I don’t really feel like sugarcoating anything and I want you to truly know what I have been feeling the past little while on my mission. I’ll include some of my thoughts on Belgium at the end, if this email isn’t too long!

You often hear in the church that missions aren’t easy. You immediately think it is because of the physical load that is placed on you, working for 14 or more hours a day, walking miles and miles, bearing with the weather, etc etc. Those are all challenges, but I don’t think that is what most returned missionaries are talking about. Honestly, I have found it is the emotional battle you have with yourself. You are expected to be at your best at all times, but you are in a system where being absolutely perfect is not possible. So you constantly have this battle with yourself of not measuring up and beating yourself up because you could be doing something better. You can go so far as to question your faith, or doctrine, and so forth, until you have finally spiraled down into a deep pit of despair, discouragement, resentment, all that fun stuff. I could be generalizing, but for the most part I think all missionaries feel this to some degree or another.

The past few months I have been struggling with finding a reason to stay on my mission. I disagree with a lot of what is going on in my mission and where the focus of the work is being placed and it has resulted in a pretty competitive and foul atmosphere - in my opinion. To me over the past little while it has made much more sense to take myself out of the situation that has been causing me so much stress and unhappiness and go back to what is easy and normal for me. I feel a lot of my past problems on the mission were very miniscule things. I had problems with diligence, talking with people, confronting people, etc etc. But, none of those are really “problems” any more. I know how to work hard now - I still move slow, but that’s another story - I can talk with people, I am comfortable with who I am, and I’m not really afraid to confront someone if they are in the wrong. But, to me, trying to find my testimony of missionary work, again, has been an actual issue for me.

I feel like as I have matured throughout the mission, I have begun to ask more questions and I wasn’t really finding the answers to them. I think I told my dad that “I wasn’t finding what I thought I would on my mission.” I’m not really sure what I was looking for but, I’ve struggled all my life with feeling peace and a sense of happiness, and I think I have been looking for that in the mission, but over the past few weeks I have not felt any of that. It has been completely my fault, looking back, I can see that now. All we can really control in life is our attitude and I was choosing to have a pretty foul one. I had lost myself in my thoughts. My criticisms of myself and others had increased, my frustration had increased, and my patience decreased. I had been trying to do an incredibly hard work by myself and it was not working at all.

Fortunately, Heavenly Father has blessed me with some wonderful missionaries who have really helped me discover what is most important. All of my past companions, and the ones I have lived with. It is interesting that each has been, age wise, older and much older in the mission. Their experiences have shaped me and helped me become a better missionary. And, of course, Heavenly Father has let all of this happen according to his plans.

It is curious that throughout this battle in my mind of whether or not I want to go home, I have been guided. I recently discovered one of the main reasons why I was in Cergy - which includes an incredible story - and now I am here in Belgium with a transfer three missionary and an area that has very high potential. I do not think it has been by chance that I have learned from older missionaries and difficult experiences, to now be in an area where I can put that all to practice.

This past Sunday was fast sunday and I decided to fast for myself. I fasted to feel Love. I fasted to feel a reason to stay on my mission, to know why I am here. Let me tell you that God really does hear our prayers, he really does know our struggles, because he answered my prayer. I had really been quite sour towards the mission up until Sunday, but as soon as we started sacrament meeting, it vanished. I will always believe nothing happens by chance and that is what I believe about coming to Belgium. The ward here is incredible. I have never felt so much love in my life. Each testimony shared was in gratitude to another member and to their Father in Heaven. Each testimony was so sincere and it struck me to the core. I felt love for so many people I didn’t even know and I felt the love of my Heavenly Father.

We went to a member’s house that night and I was able to listen to their stories. Miraculously, as soon as I arrived in Belgium I began to understand almost all the french. I can understand and speak. So, Sunday night was very enriching for me as I heard such wonderful histories of the lives of this dear family. Our spiritual thought consisted of reading 3 Nephi 11:8-17 and then watching the video “For God so Loved the World.” The spirit was so strong, we each bore our testimonies and the emotion was present.

Thinking back to another visit with a member, I was distracted by my thoughts of leaving, and I wondered to myself “Why do I stay?” The answer came in a still small voice, and it said, “Because of them.” I was humbled by that answer and I returned my focus on the dear sister we were teaching.

My experiences have been quite the refiner’s fire. It seems I am too stubborn to be humbled without these difficult experiences, but I am grateful. I know this is where I need to be. Whether or not I am the missionary others want me to be, I feel I am the missionary God needs me to be. I know this is how my mission is supposed to play out. There are so many days when I feel like breaking down and giving up - but, I can’t. Instead I can look up. I can look up and Thank Heavenly Father for this opportunity to grow, to learn, and to be happy. In our lives we all face trials and afflictions, but we don’t have to do it alone, and we don’t have to be unhappy.

We each have a work we need to do, but we never have to do that work alone. God is there, pushing us along. Along with God we have his son, Jesus Christ, our savior and redeemer who can take all of our burdens and sufferings away from us. Remembering them makes such a difference. I’m grateful for these experiences and I am grateful I have another year to help others. To listen to them, and bring a little joy into their lives as well. So if you are experiencing difficulties in your life, instead of complaining about them, Thank Heavenly Father for this opportunity to become better than you were before.

Here’s to another year!

Much Love,

Elder Molinari

P.S. I’ll just mention real quick after my discourse, that Belgium is FREEZING and it is completely different from France, and I keep telling people we are missionaries in France for two years, but the Fries are good and I need to try a waffle still!

My new companion and Ward Mission Leader

Random scenery

Me and a statue

(No Subject)

WHAT'S GOING ON MY FRIENDS!

Well everyone... It turns out that I'm leaving France. It's been a good 11 months, but it's time to move on because... *drum roll please* I'M GOING TO BELGIUM! Yeah!! I know absolutely nothing about my new town. It is called Neville and we have a car which means it is way small, which is so nice because big cities take too long to figure out. Frankly I am way excited because I'm finally leaving Paris - long story, not getting into it - but I am out! On the flip side it really stinks because elder Johnson and I are total homies and we found some super cool investigators this week and progressed with Gaelle so much! I was thinking yesterday how everything seems really good for us right now, then I got that feeling when everything is going well it's time to move and sure enough. Elder Johnson is also leaving, he is heading up to Cherbourg, which is in my old district. I'm optimistic about the future and what it holds with my new, transfer three, companion. On to the next adventure. 

We had the opportunity to see Gaelle this week and give her a chapel tour with a member, brother Franco. It was a really great lesson. We have taught her the Restoration and plan of salvation, so everything we explained about the chapel made sense. Gaelle is highly intelligent and remembers everything she is taught. I told her to listen well in our first lesson and she has. Brother Franco did a great job of explaining everything and the spirit was there! The chapel tour was a fantastic way to reinforce everything that has been taught and we were able to talk about genealogy and temple work as well. Brother Franco bore his testimony at the end and asked Gaelle if she loved her children. She Said yes - of course and then he asked her, then why wouldn't you want to be a family for eternity, not just or short time in earth. She agreed and then he bore testimony how he had rediscovered the fullness of the gospel (he was inactive for a very long time.) He told her that although he knew, and the missionaries knew all of this was true, it didn't matter because she had to find out for herself. She agreed. I closed us with a prayer and when I finished everyone opened their eyes and Gaelle's were a little bloodshot. What a powerful experience. For most of our lessons with Gaelle, she has seemed very distant and a little wary, but after this lesson she invited us to her home because she wants us to meet her whole family. Unfortunately that will not be possible, but I hope she will continue to progress and find the truth she is searching for. 

We also did another church tour with a new investigator who came up to elder Johnson on the tram. He really liked what he saw and is interested in learning more. We did the tour with a convert of less than two years, Patrick, and he had a really good time teaching with us. Working with members is sooo important!!! Members, ask the missionaries if you can teach with them, they will forever love you! You will have a great time as well. We also taught a self referral we received on Sunday, and she seemed super awesome and interested to learn more. She had a lot of questions about doctrine and was very interested in ours. I shared the first vision with her and the spirit was there - so awesome!

Elder Johnson and I had a good P day today. We went and saw the arc de triomphe, the Louvre, and had lunch with his old seminary teacher who works and lives in The heart of Paris. He took us to an authentic French restaurant and it was wayyyy good! I had Lapin, which is rabbit, and great pasta. Then I had a crème brûlée, sooo good. We had a great last day in Paris, really going to miss Elder Johnson.  I totally met a family from upstate New York too! The dad was wearing University of Buffalo clothes and a Bills sweatshirt, I walked up and was like "eyy you're from upstate New York, my debit card has the bills on it!" We had a nice little chat, their son is going to school at the university of Buffalo. They asked why I was in France and I said for my mission, they were like "oh that's super cool, how long are you here?" And I says "two years." 

"...TWO YEARS!? How long have you been here already?" "One year." "Wow, a whole year left." I guess for Mormons the two years is just like brushing the dust off your shoulder, but for everyone else two years is two years! That was fun.

I was going to write something demand inspiring, but I completely forgot what I wanted to write, so instead, I'll tell you that I completed my first ever sudoku in my life this week and then another one and with the help of Elder Hidalgo, an expert sudoku. So far on my mission I have learned how to juggle and do sudoku, two things I thought were impossible - I am satisfied. 

Alright see you all next week from Belgium!

Elda Molinari

(No Subject)

Hey everyone,

Another week has passed, and I hope you all had an eventful week because, I did not do much as a result of being sick and stuck in the apartment for a few days. I'm all better now, so until next time - which seems to be too often... There are some highlights from this week though; including having Elder Shenkal sleep over on Wednesday with his companion! It was very nice to see him again and he brought me some vitamins to help me recover - true friend right there. His companion is also seven feet tall, so he was fun to hug because you can only hug his torso! (We greet missionaries here by hugging each other. I wasn't just hugging him all night.)

Right right, so Friday was actually a very nice day for me. Elder Johnson and I decided to go to a place we had never gone before and it turned out to be a very fun experience. We got off the train and started walking around, but there was literally nobody out. So we followed signs for the center of town and eventually found ourselves walking through farm fields, surrounded by groves of trees with hidden streets and houses. I felt right at home! I love this scenario, it is my favorite on the mission and quite frankly the world. During times like these, you are on an adventure now! I'll try to paint a picture in your mind for You.

You are trying to find anything, because there is literally nothing, and then you turn a corner and the road dips down into a valley of trees and in the distance you see a bustling town! The buildings glimmering in the morning light of the sun. There are enormous hills in the distance with trees of the deepest green all over them. The sun is out, for once, and there are wispy white clouds splattered against the cool baby blue sky. You force your companion to stop so you can take a picture (actually forgot to do that for this town - sorry!) And then after admiring it again, you continue walking. You walk by old farms with horses and goats walking about. Your mind drifts into thinking about living back in the old days, with a horse and buggy until suddenly you get blasted with the horrible, but somewhat pleasant, smell of manure. 

You continue onward until you see some hidden streets covered with beautiful trees. You walk by a few and then decide to go down one of the streets. After a few unsure seconds you discover quant, little french homes, the kind you have dreamed about, but have never seen because you live in America. You knock on some of the houses, nobody is interested, so you continue taking the winding streets, through the trees and past more farm fields. A dog barks, you stand still because you are petrified with freight... Oh, that's just me, nevermind about that part. 

Then you arrive at the best spot, where you are elevated enough to see the town again in the distance and all the beauty of nature surrounding it, keeping it hidden from the world and every missionary because we don't have access to Google maps (kidding - we do.) Then you walk back and rediscover everything again, except the dog. You walk by as quietly as you can because you don't want to be barked at and have the image flash through your mind of it jumping the fence and then it chases you and bites your butt, but doesn't let go... OH, that's Still just me, ok forget that again. (A dog did in fact bite me there once and hold on!) Then you happily walk back to the train station, excited and refreshed for another adventure! I've been happy to discover that nature has grown to be something I love very much! Nothing matches seeing a magnificent landscape.

That was a much longer description, than I thought it would be. I hope you lived the adventure I lived Friday morning, except the dog part...should I leave that in there? Any way Friday was a great day for me and that morning left me feeling very happy for the rest of the day. Which was good because we had interviews with President and that was, actually, really good. For the sake of size, and your attention span, I won't include what we talked about, but if you are interested, you can just tell me, it actually helped me a lot. It was along the subject of doing missionary work and not really feeling fulfilled by it - he helped me a ton!

We visited a few members this week,end, I say weekend because that was the only time either of us were healthy! I'll only tell you about the visit Friday night for the sake of your time though. I would tell you about our investigator appointments but I was sick for Paula and Gaelle had a pretty short appointment with us. 

Quick side note though, Paula and Gaelle are doing great! Paula went to the temple visitor center with us on Sunday and she said she "felt something" there. President Sorensen holds a special testimony meeting in the visitor center of the temple twice a month on Sundays and has recent converts bear their testimonies. Elder Johnson asked her who she felt this feeling from and she responded everyone! We are looking forward to the lesson with her this week. 

Any way... appointment on Friday night was with a member family. The mother has three children and the two sons didn't seem very interested in the church. We decided to just talk about Christ. We read from 3 Nephi 1, about Christ entering the world, and then we watched the bible video "For God so Loved the World." It was really nice and the spirit enveloped the room. I asked everyone to share their testimonies of Christ and then shared mine as well. It was one of those moments where the words just flow off your tongue and you know the spirit is there! I finished and as everyone continued to talk, I felt really happy and like I was a missionary. It was a great moment and I hope the sons recognized the spirit that was present. 

I'll just close this week by expressing my gratitude for each of you. Thank you for all of your support and the emails you send me - they are highly appreciated. You all have helped me in more ways than you could know, so I am grateful for each of you. 

Much love,
Elder Molinari

Bring Out Your Dead!

Hello Everyone,

Sorry, for the delay I am pretty sick right now and was sleeping most of the day yesterday. Anyone get the title reference? I'm not at that point yet - don't worry!

This week went by pretty slowly because Elder Johnson and I have been trying to fight off being sick. He won his battle, I lost mine! We did a lot of finding and meeting with members this week. The Bishop has been more than happy to give us the names of people who could use a little spiritual boost, so we have been pretty occupied with visiting them because it takes so long to travel around our area. It has been quite rewarding to visit with so many of these members, usually older, and to just let them talk. They all have very different life stories and love to share them with the missionaries! We have been reading the Book of Mormon at all of our visits and everyone enjoys it. There’s no better way to receive a spiritual boost than from one of the best sources of spiritual power!

Many of these older members are recent converts of 2-5 years and their understanding of the scriptures is very minimal. We have been able to discuss the teachings of the Book of Mormon with them and help them out a bit. We will continue to make these visits and to read the Book of Mormon, perhaps passages specific to their needs, or maybe we will just read. We have learned a lot about the needs of these dear members, and we want to try and help them in the best way we can - which happens to be using the Book of Mormon!

Usually, when you try and meet with members you have never met they are a little closed off at first. But, as soon as we begin to read the Book of Mormon they open up and we are able to really talk to them. I’m grateful for the Book of Mormon. There is no book on earth that I have read more than the Book of Mormon. There is a power that comes from the book. Everyone who reads it can feel that. If you are having a bad day or a rough week, or need a little comfort, you can open the book and just read and you receive the comfort you are seeking. How? I have no idea, but I know for me, the Book of Mormon has been a strong foundation of my testimony that I can stand on, and in many cases lean on. I’m grateful for said book, and I am grateful that it contains the fullness of the Gospel of Jesus Christ. Without it we wouldn’t know about the Plan of Salvation, the means by which we can return to live with our Heavenly Father. Without it we wouldn’t know who we are, where we came from, and where we are going. The Book of Mormon answers all the questions of mortality. The Book of Mormon stands as a witness that Jesus is the Christ and that his church has been restored on the earth, and that the same power used by the prophets and apostles of old has been restored to the earth today. If the Book of Mormon is a true book, then everything else is as well. I know the Book of Mormon is truly another testament of Jesus Christ. I have prayed about it, many times, and I have testified about it, and I know that it is truly an inspired book given to us by the Lord.

My challenge for all of you is to read it and ponder the words of life found within. “I say unto you, that you must study it out in your mind; then you must ask me if it be right, and if it is right I will cause that your bosom shall burn within you; therefore, you shall feel that it is right.” That is just one promise given to us by the Lord, that if we ask, we will receive.

We met with our progressing investigator, Gaelle, this week. She is super awesome and very nice. We began teaching her the Plan of Salvation and it was pretty cool to see her reaction to it. The doctrine taught is something completely new to her. She comes from a Catholic background, and she was very interested in the premortal life and the fall of Adam. We are seeing her again on Thursday, so I look forward to finishing that lesson with her. We watched the video about life being like a play. How we are a main character in the play, but we have missed the first act, and that we need to study the script so we know what to do. But what is the script? Well it is the SCRIPTures of course! Study the scriptures and you will understand the play - you will understand your role! She has been reading the Book of Mormon and even asked if there were reference scriptures in the back of the Plan of Salvation pamphlet. It is quite the privilege to see someone get so excited about rediscovering a truth they were taught not so long ago! I’m looking forward to Thursday!

Ok, Voila, my email for this week. I hope through all of my coughs, runny noses, and tired head, that you got something out of this. Keep reading the Book of Mormon, keep Praying, Heavenly Father is there for you and he is cheering you on continually. Take comfort in knowing you are loved by him and he has a plan just for you!

Love you all as well,

Elder Molinari

New Year!

Well Hello Everyone!

This week has been a very exciting and important week of my mission. This week was full of life lessons that have changed the way I view missionary work.

I won't go into too much detail because I think the revelation Elder Johnson and I have received this week could make for a great talk one day, but I will tell you how missionary work has changed for me. I have mentioned before how Elder Johnson and I are focusing much more on the member-missionary relationship and doing missionary work through the members. I believe that members are the most effective way to do missionary work and hopefully we will see the fruits of our efforts in meeting with members soon. We had a planning session this week where we really wanted to figure out what we were supposed to be doing. We had this great idea to do member missionary work, but we had no idea how to achieve it and we were lacking the direction we needed.

So after a lot of praying, through the confirmation of the spirit, we have felt that it is important to try and meet with three member families a day, while also getting in at least two hours of finding each day. This also includes visiting with less actives, part member families, and teaching as well. So far we have seen a lot of success from this. Our day is always full because we are always making sure that we are doing something. Elder Johnson and I have both felt great peace as we have focused our efforts 100% on the people of France, especially strengthening the ward. We have already met with less actives, taught lessons, done finding, and met with members this past week and it has been exhilarating. We are doing short, quick visits with the members and less actives. The purpose of the visits is to bring the spirit into the home and inspire the members - it works. We are natural in our approach and we simply share our message and go on our way. We believe that if we uplift the ward and help them develop their spirituality, then the desire to do missionary work will increase and the work will progress. Figuring all of this has taken a while to figure out, but now that we are focused and know we are being guided in our work, we are very excited to work and do our part.

I feel the most important lesson learned from all of this is that you need to focus on those around you. You need to focus on building others up instead of focusing on building yourself up. When you focus on those around you, you naturally build yourself up, as well as increasing the desire within yourself, and those around you, to aid your fellow man. We, as missionaries, are called to preach repentance and baptize converts. I believe helping members, less-actives, and part- member families change and have the desire to help their fellow man is doing just that. We help them focus more on Christ in their life and, as a result, their love increases. Their love and respect for the sacrament increases as they remember him throughout the week.  The result is - they become like Him. This truly is a great work we are engaged in!

As for the rest of the week... it was great! We had zone conference and David Archuleta came and sang for his. His testimony was very genuine and you could really feel that he believed in what he shared. I really enjoyed having him speak, and sing, to us! His voice is also WAY good, and I was super impressed! We also were able to hear from Bishop Causse that evening and he spoke of the importance of members bringing their friends to visit the temple - I agreed! That was cool to listen to him speak in his native tongue! 

Ok ok ok… what else. Right, so we had asked the Bishop for names of some people to go and visit and one of them was a less active woman. We went and visited her with a member and it turns out she had been in a bad fall this past year. She had fallen and broken both of her legs, I think, and had been in the hospital for six months! Miraculously, she walks just fine now! The sad part about this visit was that nobody visited her in that six months! Luckily the Bishop had stopped by and talked with her and another ward member had brought her a little Christmas tree, that made her very happy. We were glad we could go and visit her; we also found out that she has a 16 year old daughter, so I am going to ask the Young Women to contact her and invite her to church/activities (Totally forgot on Sunday.)

This email is all over the place, but I’ll finish with our great practice teaching with some members last night. We visited the Elder’s Quorum President to teach him the Plan of Salvation. His girlfriend was visiting, I thought she was his wife, so she joined in as well. When we started the both of them said they weren’t married, but I couldn’t tell if they were being serious because they were holding hands and just seemed like a married couple, so I figured it was part of the roleplay. So we taught the lesson, they fixed our french grammar and they really liked the lesson. Afterwards, when we started to eat dinner, I ask them, “So, how long have you two been married?” They both kind of got this look on their face, like “he didn’t get it before,” and then then told me to the sound of laughter from my companion that they really weren’t married! We all laughed over it. They are both very very nice and we had a fun time there.

Sweet, hope everyone’s new year is going well and you are keeping all of your new year resolutions! 

Much Love,

Elder Molinari 
 

P.S. I also think this week is an excellent time, if you haven't already, to reflect back on the life of our dear prophet President Monson. Maybe read a few of his talks or what his biography movie. He was truly an amazing man that focused one "the one." I am very grateful for his exmaple to me.