Elder Molinari's Spiritual Thought

Bonjour Everyone,

This week I would like to try something a little different for my weekly letter. It will basically be a spiritual thought on a few experiences that I had during the week. If you prefer this to my other letters, tell me, I would love to know!

The first experience occurred during my exchange with the Zone Leaders. Elder Taylor and I switched companions for a day and I was with Elder Silva for the day. We taught a man named Eagle Zigzag, baked cookies for ward members, and contacted. What I want to write about is what Elder Silva told me at the end of our transfer. He told me one thing I can improve on and one thing I do well. 

The First was that I teach simply and to keep doing it.
The Second was that I shouldn't be so hard on myself and that I can't always be comparing myself to perfection because I will never match up. I need to compare myself to what I used to be and how I have improved.

I highly appreciated both comments. I've often wondered if I was ever teaching simply enough that someone with no gospel knowledge can understand; and to have someone tell me that I am was very comforting. We have been taught to teach as the Savior taught, which was simply, and I try to make that my goal when I teach others. I remember the time in my life when the names Nephi, Abinidi, Adam, Eve, etc made no sense to me. I wanted clarification, I wanted to learn about them in the simplest way possible, and If I can provide that simplicity to someone else who does not understand these gospel related terms, then how much more success will the investigator have if they are learning simply and truly becoming converted by the spirit. We as missionaries deliver the message, nothing more, the spirit is the one who testifies of the truths we share. The more simple you keep this wonderful Gospel, the more easily the spirit can testify of these truths. Stay simple with how we teach, so that others can understand. Focus on their needs and let the spirit guide you in what to say. 

The second piece of advice came at a crucial moment for me. I have constantly been feeling the guilt of not being good enough and feeling inadequate for the task that has been placed before me. In many ways I was comparing myself to perfection, without ever stopping to see how far I had come. My first reaction when I thought about this was that I am not allowed to slack off, but that I should be continually trying to improve myself in little ways. If I look back over the past five months, I have grown so much already. My language HAS progressed, my gospel knowledge and ability to teach HAS increased, my willingness to speak with others HAS increased, my love for the work HAS increased. I feel that in our lives we focus too much on what we haven't accomplished, rather than the many successes we have accomplished. I set my goals this week and I plan to work towards them. I created the goals and the plans on how to achieve these goals. 

They are two simple goals,
1. Speak and comprehend french naturally by my 6th transfer.
2. Become a more consecrated missionary

My goals are not impossible to achieve, but they do push me to become better and improve. How do we improve though? We improve through our Savior Jesus Christ and through his Atonement for us. We improve by having a daily accountability with ourselves and with him, looking back over our day and deciding what we could have done better. We repent and ask for the strength we need to improve and become more like him. He was the only perfect being to live on the earth. 
He said to us "What manner of men ought ye to be?... Even as I am."
He is the perfection we all strive for and can one day achieve. It will not happen in this life and that is fine, but as we draw closer to him and remember him in all we do, then will we become more like him. We also improve through our diligence in obeying the commandments of the Lord. If we follow the path he has laid for us, he will shower down blessings upon us.

My last thought came yesterday. It was a fast Sunday, abstaining from food for 24 hours, and I will share with you one of the things I fasted for. I fasted to be able to understand and speak french to a greater ability through my diligence and obedience. A miracle transpired. During church yesterday, I seemed to understand most of what was being said. I didn't get all of it, there was much I struggled with, but I understood so much more than I usually do. It is hard to describe because I understood the French as French. There was no translation going on in my head, I just knew what the words were and how to properly reply. I felt, for once, in my four months here in France, that I got something out of church. How was this possible? 

I think of the scripture Matthew 17:21

"Howbeit this kind goeth not out but by prayer and fasting."

Fasting and prayer are powerful when we use them together. Truly this experience was nothing short of a miracle and I am grateful for it. I haven't been the most diligent missionary I could be, but for what I have done, the Lord saw fit to bless me with this increased ability to comprehend. 

This gospel is wonderful. It is simple and beautiful and brings joy into our lives. The Lord asks us to "come unto him" and he will give us rest. He offers us peace, happiness, and so much more. How grateful I am to be a witness and messenger of this gospel. I know that Jesus is the Christ and that he lives. He atoned for all of our sins so that we may return to live with him and his father again and partake in the eternal joy they offer us. As we repent and become better people through Christ, we will become as he is. I love this work, I love this Gospel. 

Elder Molinari

Hospital Visit!!!

Salut!

This week was an interesting one for sure, not much missionary work, but a lot of lessons learned. 

Tuesday was a great. Elder Taylor and I went and taught a reactivated member about the Aaronic Priesthood. He already knew everything though, but just wanted to be prepared as he was made a Priest and given the opportunity to baptize his wife on Saturday. He is a total homie, we taught him how to baptize someone and then we just chatted. He wants us to run 8km with him every morning... appreciate the offer, but! Who knows maybe we will. 
We had district meeting later that day which was nice, had fried rice for lunch. We went home that night and everything was great. Elder Taylor and I had planned to teach all of our amis during the week and we were going to extend a baptismal invitation to an ami. This is where the fun begins.
I woke up numerous times that night to use the bathroom and felt progressively worse after each "visit." I decided I would sleep in a little when the alarm went off, but that was not to be the case. I got up instantly at 6:30 and went and took some pills, then walked downstairs grabbed my consecrated oil from my bag, walked upstairs and handed it to Elder Taylor. I think I told him I felt awful, so he just kind of stared at the wall and did nothing for a little, all the while I am now sitting in a chair and my vision is vanishing. I start to get very hot and I remember him asking me my full name, then I passed out. I came to after he had finished the blessing and he later told me that my entire body had been shaking during the blessing. My vision was completely gone at this point and I could barely hear anything he was saying. There was the worst pain in my head and an extremely loud, high pitched ringing in my ears. I was drenched in sweat at this point and had no idea what to do, I asked for my water bottle, which was promptly set in my hand. I took a few swigs, but nothing changed. I was getting a little worried at this point, my comp is just kind of watching it all happen - he also said my lips were completely white! At this dire moment I felt the impression to lean forward in the chair, and when I did, my vision started to return. I could only see my left arm, but I could see that there were literal drops of sweat coming from my ARMS! I didn't even know that was possible, I was drenched in sweat. I grabbed the phone and called the mission nurse and she told me what to do. After that I just climbed into bed and passed out for a few hours. I slept that entire day, and was feeling a lot better by the end of this exciting day. Went to bed. 
Well we can guess what happened again - a repeat of the night before. So I called the nurse again in the morning and she told me to take some pills and take it easy that day. So Elder Taylor and I went out, it's now Thursday I think, and so we took it easy. Trying to remember what we did. Right, one of our investigators did not show up for our lesson, we brought bottles of water to a widow, and then we met with our Ward Mission Leader. Not the most exciting day, but I was feeling a lot better...until we got home. It suffices me to say, I used the bathroom more times than a normal person would in a short amount of time. So I called the mission nurse again and she said she would try to make a doctors appointment for me the next day.
We all know what happened that night - again.
Called the nurse the next morning to report how I was feeling, I now had a lot of pain in my intestines region. She told me to go to the emergency room! 
Before Elder Taylor and I left for the hospital, he gave me another priesthood blessing. The blessing said I would recover and continue my mission - that was all I needed to hear.
We went to the hospital and spoke with the receptionist, then a nurse took me into a room to get all of my information. I accidently told her I was 5 foot 5 and weighed 121 pounds, but what's 24 pounds and 4 inches!? The nurse brought me into this little operating room and continued to ask me about my symptoms. After I would answer the questions, or rather my companion, the nurse would disappear for 10-15 minutes. I was mildly nervous because I honestly didn't have that much confidence in a hospital in France - just from stories I had heard. 
A nurse finally came back in and told me she was going to take some blood samples - took a lot of blood samples. She put an IV in me, which is the most uncomfortable thing in the world, and then vanished for a few minutes. When she came back she shot me full of pain meds and then hooked me up to a bottle which pumped water into me. Oh lala that felt awful. I could feel the fluid pumping up my arm and I couldn't move or anything because there was a massive needle in my arm. So I sat through the whole procedure and naturally the nurse had vanished again. When she came back she disconnected my from the tube and took the needle out, but left the plastic tube in my arm. I told Elder Taylor at this point I needed to stop smiling so much because the nurses would think I was taking everything as a joke! Just staying optimistic.
So at this point I am sitting there with a plastic tube shoved up my arm, and then a nurse tells me they need some "samples," ya know from the lower regions. Well I hadn't eaten anything for 24 hours or so now and was empty. I tried using the bathroom for 30 minutes, nothing. So I exit the bathroom, cause I have no idea what to do and another nurse appears and puts me in a wheelchair and rolls me to another room where they take sonogram (I think) of my stomach.  It was like I was being checked for a baby, surprise I'm pregnant! 
Now another doctor is rubbing my stomach with a magic wand and tells me I do not have appendicitis, which is good, but my colon is inflamed. He says goodbye and then I get wheeled back to the other room where I need to continue to try to get my sample. I flat out told the nurse it was not possible, so she gives me this little cup of applesauce, like that will do anything. After another 40 minutes or so the doctor just comes and tells me to get a sample at home and gives me a prescription for antibiotics and pain meds. Then a nurse comes and takes the plastic tube out of my arm, which was the most uncomfortable thing in my life, yeesh that was a weird feeling. Then we walked out and left.

This email is super long, so I will summarize the rest of the week. 

Woke up that night with intense pain in my colon and stayed awake from 2 am to 6 am. We then went back to the hospital that day and waited five hours to talk with a doctor, who told us that the antibiotic wouldn't take effect for two days, would have been great to know that the day before. The pain is getting way better and hopefully I will be back to normal in a few days! Voila.

I will put one tiny lesson I learned through all of this. During the night that I woke up at 2 am and was up until 6 am, because of the pain caused by my colon, I sat on the toilet for the entire night and at one point, around 4 am, the pain became so intense that it took all the power within me to not cry out. I thought about waking my companion, calling soeur Christensen, or even calling an ambulance. Finally I turned to the only one who could help me in this moment, The Lord. I said a very sincere prayer asking for the pain to pass, almost crying from the pain I prayed again and again, until finally the title of a book came into my mind, "Faith Precedes the Miracle." At that moment the most intense pain I have ever felt all but passed away. Simply put, that was a miracle. After many prayers, a lot of patience, and a large amount of faith, I was relieved of the pain for a period of time. 
What a blessing that was to learn an important lesson on faith. When we center our hope in Christ and the promise of relief, it will come, but it will come in his time and when we need it the most. This theme of receiving relief is what I think allows for the most growth. Now this is a permanent, humbling experience I will not soon forget.

Au revoir, 
Elder Molinari

Elder Molinari's Adventures in France

Salut chaque ami!

Lot's of incredible things happened this week and I am excited to share them all with you!

Tuesday was a pretty relaxed day, Elder Taylor and I had two rendezvous with our newest investigators, Tito and Clifford. I love them both so much, they are super awesome guys and I am enjoying the teaching experience  with them. Unfortunately they are both english speakers , so I can't practice my french with them, but I am more than happy to teach in English too! 

Our lesson with Clifford was pretty fun, he is a really intense African guy who has SO many questions about our church and the gospel. We taught him the restoration and he understood it very well, it made sense to him that there would need to be a restoration after the great apostasy. He had a little trouble understanding the priesthood though and wanted to know how some people perform miracles without having the priesthood. Elder Taylor gave a rather confusing answer, so I Tried to salvage the situation. I brought up the story of when Moses had his encounter with Pharaoh and his magicians used the power of Satan to perform their "miracles," then I explained how even though they used that power, the power of God still won. That answer satisfied him, but I wanted to also clear up what Elder Taylor had said - something along the lines of some people were not worthy, I do not really remember what he said. So I flipped to D and C 121 and read to Clifford that the powers of the priesthood and heaven are inseparably connected. I simply went over all the situations the scripture states and how if we abuse the power of the priesthood, then we lose that authority to use it. He was very satisfied with that answer as well. All around good lesson, Elder Taylor was getting a little frustrated because Clifford was having a hard time understanding, but I thought it was wonderful! You can't expect everyone to understand the Gospels unique vocabulary after you mention it to them once. Instead of getting frustrated we should be excited for them because they are interested in the gospel and want to ask questions. 

We also taught Tito later that day about the Plan of Salvation. He is much more relaxed and less intense than Clifford. He asks questions of understanding, but for the most part accepts everything we teach to him. He is so prepared, everything we teach just makes sense to him. We had challenged him to read the introduction of the Book of Mormon in our last lesson and when we followed up on that this time, he started flipping through the pages to show us where he was. I expected him to have read, maybe to the Joseph Smith Testimony, but NO! He had read all the way to 1 Nephi chapter 7 and then he recited the history of all that he had read. I was blown away by how faithful he had been. We decided to challenge him to baptism that lesson and set the date for August 12th and he accepted that invitation. If I get transferred out of Caen this next transfer, the 12th would be my last Saturday and I would love to see him be baptized because he was for sure prepared by the Lord. Hopefully everything will work out, he has been sick the past few weeks and hasn't been able to come to church for that reason. 

Rest of the week wasn't that eventful. 

On Wednesday, Elder Taylor and I went into Paris for District Leader Training and received word that there were a few new rules in the mission, one of which being all Disney Music and Soundtracks have been banned. I was pretty bummed, to say the least, but I felt this reassurance that I would be able to follow this rule. Music is a huge part of my life, but I know that if I have to give up some music now so that I can be a more effective disciple of Christ, then I will make that sacrifice. I am excited to see how the new rules change our mission.

Thursday Elder Taylor and I went to Cherbourg for an exchange with Elder Leavitt and Thelemaque. We did a lot of contacting and had a few good exchanges with people. Elder Leavitt and I talked with a young guy who was interested in religion in general. I always find it curious that young people are the most interested in religion. France is filled with a lot of disbelief in God, but young people are always so willing to talk about their beliefs and maybe even learn more about the Gospel of Jesus Christ. 

Sunday was a great sabbath day, as usual. I almost fell asleep in sacrament meeting...again, but the same member, Nicolas, saw me and started to pretend to fall asleep. After that I didn't fall asleep any more. The talks were very good, I was sitting in front of my companion, who was translating - so I could actually get something out of the talks this week. The stake president came to our ward and spoke to us and he said something that I really liked. He said, "We do not clean the temple because it is dirty, we clean it because we are keeping it from becoming dirty." He went on to say how that is similar to our bodies and I would also like to add our spirits. If we have a dirty spirit, then we can clean it up with the atonement of Jesus Christ, but if we are continually keeping our spirits clean by: reading our scriptures, studying the words of modern day prophets, going to church, fulfilling our callings in the church, serving others, etc, then we are keep our spirits clean and by so doing becoming more like Jesus Christ. We prevent our spirits from ever becoming dirty. When we have clean spirits, Heavenly Father knows, we know and we are blessed with the light of christ, which others will know and recognize.

This week was a great week. A mission is truly a special opportunity and I am very grateful to be on one, especially in such a beautiful place like France. I really do love it here and I love the people, the work, and this gospel. 

See you all next week,
Elder Molinari

OPEN for your updates from France

Hello 

For some reason Tuesday and Wednesday are not in my journal and because of that I have virtually no recollection of what transpired on said days. That was a lie, I just realized my Wednesday entry was with my Thursday. No idea what happened on Tuesday, sorry!

Wednesday was a great day actually! Elder Taylor and I had dinner at a members house, Nicolas Bourroux and his family. They are a trilingual family, so he speaks to me in French and English, not Spanish - thankfully. We had lasagna again, which I am completely fine with because lasagna is super good and, I'm Italian. I showed Nicolas and his wife the picture of me from 10th grade and his wife exclaimed "c'est pas possible!" I thought it was hilarious. That was a really fun night. 

Thursday was minorly stressful for me. We had district meeting, great meeting, and got to see Elder Leavitt and Elder Thelemaque! Now the event, so to speak, that I was giving me a little anxiety was giving a blessing in french. So, Elder Taylor and I went to the house of the souer's ami, who is being baptized, and gave her two daughters blessings. I even had to use the Tu form of french instead of the Vous form because the girl was pretty young. The blessing went surprisingly well. It was a unique experience because I knew completely that I would butcher that blessing if I wasn't fully relying on the spirit to help me. I gave all of my trust to Lord and relied fully on him. It was a very humbling experience because I was able to deliver the blessing and only made one tiny mistake in the entire blessing. 

Friday we taught our new ami, Tito, who is from Liberia. He exposed political corruption in his town and was beaten with sticks and as a result of that beating his hip was broken. He was brought to France by the government and is now living here. He met missionaries before, so he was more than happy to meet with us when I contacted him. We taught him the restoration and he said it really made sense to him. Funny little note, I felt like such a preach my gospel missionary when we were finishing the lesson and I asked him, as he continues to take the lessons and receive a testimony for himself of this gospel, if he would like to be baptized by someone holding the proper priesthood authority. He accepted the soft invite. Super awesome!

Saturday we went to Cherbourg so that Elder Taylor could do a baptismal interview. Elder Leavitt and I went to a rendez-vous, but they never showed up. It was great being able to just talk with him for a while though. 

Sunday we had church and I accidentally fell asleep in sacrament meeting. I repented. It was so hot. Even the ward members were taking their jackets off, which is saying something because I had this theory that the French didn't feel heat, it was that hot. But Nicolas was quick to make fun of me falling asleep, he's a great guy.

I'm loving life here in France. The mission is really tough and I have already learned so many lessons. I'm glad that I came to the realization this week that even though I am reluctant to contact sometimes, I am still happy. I'm trying to really find immense joy in the work still, but I am happy and that was a very important realization for me. I can honestly say I wouldn't trade this experience for anything else right now. I get to share the gospel with others and see that hope, which comes from it, change their lives. This is such an incredible work and even though I might not being seeing tons of success right now, I still love every moment.

See you all next week,

Elder Molinari out.

New Companion

Bonjour chaque ami,

This week has been full of learning and new experiences. 

I had a really fun day on Tuesday with Elder Walton and Egbert. Elder Egbert had been dropped off in Caen so that he could ride with Walton and I to Paris the next day and go to the Mission home. We got to spend a lot of time just hanging out and enjoying each others company - it was so relaxing. We ate Kebabs for lunch and had Ice Cream afterwards, then they had to finish packing so we went back to the apartment and enjoyed their last night together in Caen. It was a really nice birthday. Speaking of which - I'm 19, wow. My good friend, Elder Tropnas, called me and sang happy birthday to me on the phone, was a pretty funny and awesome surprise. Thank you to everyone who sent me birthday wishes, that meant a lot to me!!

Now for the information everyone wants to hear. Tuesday morning I dropped off Elder Walton and Egbert in Paris and went to pick up my new Companion, Elder Taylor. He is a year and a half into his mission and goes home in November. He is from Northern California and is the oldest of four siblings. He went to BYU provo for a year before his mission and is studying developmental biology and wants to go to medical school. I have a lot of first impressions, but I'm trying not to judge because for all of my previous companions I have judged too quickly and then ended up being great friends with them. What I can say is that he is basically the complete opposite of Elder Walton. He is much more reserved, quiet, doesn't really express himself all that much; he has his quirks, just as we all do, I just have to get used to him. 

Honestly didn't really do much else this week. Elder Taylor and I went contacting and after an entire day of contacting we found some Nigerian, Tito, who was introduced to the church in Nigeria, and he came to church on Sunday. The problem is, he only speaks English. We were also given another investigator by the sisters, who also, only speaks english. You're probably thinking, "oh that is great he doesn't have to speak in french with them!" Actually no it is not great because these english speakers always come to church and then complain about how they did not feel the brotherhood, or unity, and we can't really fix that problem because they only speak english and not french! Mildly frustrating.  

We taught Constantine a lesson on Thursday about Joseph Smith. We watched the Restoration video and the spirit was pretty strong in the room. We watched it in Russian, but I could still feel the spirit! Then Constantine started playing on his phone during the video and stopped paying attention until I told him to pay attention to the first vision scene. Then I asked him if he thinks it would be important to have prophets on the earth today and he said yes, but then said anyone who follows God is a prophet. Cleared that up. I asked him if he would pray to know Joseph Smith is a prophet. He told me he knew he was, good! Then I introduced him to President Thomas S. Monson, our prophet on the earth today. Constantine said he wasn't a prophet. So I challenged him to pray and ask if President Monson was a prophet and he refused. He said he has his agency and does not agree with us that President Monson is a prophet. We will try to work on that.

Saturday we had a zone conference to meet the new Mission President, President Sorenson. His family was all there and every missionary introduced themselves. President is super young, I think he is 42, which is really young for a mission president. He speaks french very well though, I was impressed he had kept it up so well. He served in France probably 20 or so years ago. He has three fairly young children and one serving a mission in Norway. He is very optimistic and I respect that. I look forward to serving with him and seeing what he will do with the mission. He had this glow about him as he spoke and the spirit really testified to me that he had been chosen by God to be the new president of this mission. 

Real quickly, I just wanted to share something I had read in the Teachings of Gordon B. Hinckley (A prophet). He told a story about a naval officer he had met who became mormon because of the positive influence of some of his comrades. The man was from a distant nation which did not accept Christianity too much. President Hinckley met this man and asked him if it would be worth it to pay such a great price, that is to be disowned by his family, rejected by others and mocked, in order to remain a worthy member. The man replied with two questions that have stayed within my mind. The first was "It's true, isn't it?" to which President Hinckley responded, with a yes. The second was "Then what else really matters?" As I have been struggling with the adjustment of a new companion and basically having all the responsibility of the area dropped on my shoulders I have thought about these questions. Even though I'm feeling overwhelmed and not the happiest, I can think about these questions. The answer to the first question is obviously yes. I know the gospel of Jesus Christ is true and because I know that, the second question really puts everything into perspective. This is a tiny moment in my life, but a moment that I can learn from. As Elder Joseph B. Wirthlin said this is "on the job training" and Heavenly Father is forming and shaping me into the person he needs me to be. I can't just meet perfect person after perfect person, I have to meet a variety of different people, so that whenever Heavenly Father needs me to help others, I will know how to best help them. 

Missions are super tough, I've never done anything harder than this. Even though there are times where you feel like being any place but the mission, I can't help but feeling like I wouldn't trade these experiences for anything else.

I love the gospel of Jesus Christ and I love sharing it with others because they too can experience Eternal joy, not just temporal joy.

Avec amour,

Elder Molinari